Told my BF it's Weird!

[Shell]

I've been wanting to ask all of you what you'd think of this situation.......

Neighbor across the hall slipped a belated Christmas card under our door. Inside had a couple coupons, a McDonald's gift card and 2 Applebee's gift cards. He wrote some religious stuff inside, along with his phone number to call him.
We both thought that was weird.
Acouple days later as my bf was getting into our apartment, the neighbor comes out of his apartment and hands Mike a bag. Mike has enough time to say thank you before neighbor goes back into his apartment. After Mike puts down all of his stuff, he sees whats in the bag. It's a new spiral cut ham.
Now we're trying to think of what this guy is up to. I told Mike, it's like he's trying to buy us to go to church with him.
New Years Eve, Mike walks in after work, carrying a booze bag and a bag of oranges.
Which I thought was really weird for Mike to go out and buy any kind of liquor, because he doesn't drink.
He said the booze bag and oranges were sitting in front of our door.
Ok, maybe this stuff came from one of our other neighbors in the building.
Mike takes out the bottle and it's a wine neither of us ever heard of. Purple Moon and the bag is from Trader Joe's. Inside the bag of oranges is bible thumper booklet.
What's weird about this time, is the guy knows I'm on unemployment and home, because our truck is parked outside and Mike always takes the car to work. He never knocked on our door. It's like he wanted Mike to see his "gifts".
I told my daughter who called, about all this and she laughs and said "Mike's got a boyfriend!"

Now to tell you all how we all are in our building. We only do friendly short chit chats, open the building door for each other, the kid upstairs will come down and ask if his music is to loud or that him and a friend will be playing Rock Band and to let him know if it gets to loud. Take in any deliveries if any neighbor isn't home at the time to recieve them. Say hi to. Let each other know if a window in their car is rolled down and it's starting to rain or the light was left on in their car...simple stuff like that. No one gets together other than talking for about a 1/2 hour, tops! I'm sure we all consider each other friends because we live in the same building and trust each other, but we are not good friends, just neighbors.
The guy upstairs and the guy across the hall have lived here longer than us. June 1st, we'll be signing our 4th year lease here. The other 3 families have been here for at least 2 yrs.
In the past John across the hall has come out of his apartment onto his balcony as Mike is getting out of the car and tried to talk religion to him and about going to church with him. Finally Mike had had enough and said he doesn't like to discuss religion and he has his own church he'd go to if he wanted to go.
The subject was dropped for over a year. John who only smokes outside on his balcony, actually started to walk back into his apartment when Mike was getting out of the car. He usually only did that when I was with Mike, like he didn't want to talk to Mike because I was there. Another weird thing about this guy.

About a week ago, he asked Mike about my name on our mailbox. Why I have an M, but go by Shellie. Mike explained I hate the name Michelle and have been called Shellie since I was little, it's my nickname. John said he thought maybe I was an illegal.

Anyhow, want do you think John is up to? Or do you think it's nothing? If you were us, would you think it's weird? Is this stuff normal for people trying to get others to join their church?
This is the first year we've recieved anything from him, other than words.

Mike and I have our own different beliefs for religion. Neither of us down the other for what we believe in and religion is not apart of our relationship. He was just happy that I finally found a book after all these years of what I have always thought was a religion and was real for my beliefs even as a kid. The last thing I need is a neighbor pushing his beliefs and trying to buy us into his religion, when I don't believe in the same sort of religion.

[Shell]

Come on folks! I gave you something new to read here! A little input on your thoughts, please?

[Shell]

HELLO....... Helllooo..... hellllooooo

[Tbitt]

Maybe he really did think you were an illeagle, and that is why he is more standoffish with you.

I don't know Shell, some people use gifts to get the door open to discuss things.  Maybe that is what he is trying to do, to open up a communication with you guys.

I'm sure it sure is awkward for you...........

Why not try talking casually with him.  break the ice.  If the conversation does come around to religion.  Try to find a nice way to tell him that you are comfortable with your religion and don't have the need for anyting else right now.

Be nice, he is trying to share something that he feels great about.  There are a lot of people out there that need someone like him, it may not be you, but try not to discourage him...........I know it might make you uncomfortable.......but try.....

Or I could be all wrong, and he is in love with your man..........he he he

Good Luck

[Mass]

He sounds like he has no friends or family and is a little "off". But, he has his religion, that he wants to share with someone.
He actually sounds like one who could fall victim to the cults.

[poodlelover]

Yep, I think he wants your man.

I'm with Tbitt on this one.  Try to find a nice way to tell him that you're all set in the religion area.  Or you could hang a Jesus fish on your door.  That might shut him up.

[AKPonygirl]

just carve a 666 in your door with some weird symbols..   or just put a sign up that Mike isn't gay?

[Shell]

John is an older gentleman, probably in his early or mid 50's...at least he looks it

His wife left him and divorced him as soon as "her" daughter graduated H.S and went to college shortly afterwards, almost 3 yrs ago.
He's a security guard for somewhere and goes to church a couple days a week.

It's not like I never said anything to him since we've lived here. He sometimes just gave me enough time to just say "hi" to.
It was like he didn't want to talk to a female.
He started not "running back in his apartment" from me, after my daughter left to start her life, over a year ago, and it's usually talking about the weather or him asking about our horses or how my daughter is doing in AZ. Small talk every once in awhile. Which is what we all do in this building.
Neighbors below us asked how to care for a baby rabbit, thinking we'd know because we have horses.
Yep, Mike and I thought that was weird too.
And they asked us if we wanted another rat, which the husband found in a pet shop that called for extermination of the rat because it has been running around loose for a few days and the pet shop then considers the animals wild. He instead brought it home. No we didn't add to our collection
But we've also asked them if they wanted a tree frog we found at work, knowing they have reptiles or if they wanted baby rats to feed to their snake.

The longest I've talked to John was prior to Obama being elected. We ended up going to our mailboxes at the same time. Talk was about Obama and other worldly things. But he started going over my head with it and was adding religion in it. I must have looked like I was getting bored, because he basically stopped and said he had to go in and said good bye. I thought that was strange, but glad it happened.

I can see if we catered to John's needs just to be nice neighbors... it's not going to have a very nice outcome. He may be lonely at home, but I'm sure with him going to church a couple times a week he has plenty of friends he can chit chat with or go out with who he has more in common with. He's been living here for at least 4 years.  
When Mike finally got a little ticked off at him and stearnly told him off about not going to church with him, it was because John asked if I had anything to do with Mike not going to church with him.

Plus, we are happy with just having our neighbors the way they are. We're not seeking long term friendships with any of them. We like our quiet life.

And I don't think John's needs are just to have more communication with us. Not when the bible thumper booklet was added to the oranges.
So...do really religious folks try to buy in new members to go to their church?

Gives me a sick feeling IF it's just that he really likes Mike....insert barfing smiley here!  

And seriously, during eating the ham I started thinking maybe he poisoned it or something. And threw what I had on my plate, in the garbage.
We really don't know this guy well enough for me to think it's not possible.
It's not like he said he was given two for the hoildays from work. Instead Mike said he came out of his apartment as he was opening our door and basically put the bag in his hand and quickly went back in his apartment.

[poodlelover]

Maybe he thinks he's helping since he knows you're not working?

I don't know - but I wouldn't want to cultivate that relationship either.  I have a neighbor who is a minister for a small church.  He never has said a word about it.  I don't care for that shoving it down your throat stuff.  Is Mike sure he never said anything that would lead the neighbor to believe he would want to attend his church?  It could have been something simple to get out of a conversation. 

It does seem odd.

[Shell]

Mike's a really nice guy and has a lot of patience, BUT he'll never say anything he know he wouldn't hold his word to.

And for both of us, religion is something you keep to yourself. Because even if two people have the same, each would have different views and values of what that religion means to them and how they live by it. Meaning the religion fits the needs of each persons lifestyle. And all lifestyles are different.

Actually after Mike snapped at him about the subject, John avoided Mike for quite awhile.

I've always been the type that when I know I'm going to receive a holiday gift, I have something to give in return.
But now I've realized I hate when a gift is given unexpectedly. Especially from someone who's really just a long time acquaintance and nothing more.
The feeling I had after getting the x-mas card with 3 food gift cards and 2 food coupons from him, was why? And does he expect some kind of gift from us in return?
He does make me feel guilty for not giving him anything in return, but I'm afraid he's like someone I know, that if you show that person a little bit of respect, they take it way out of preportion and he makes you become a rotten person towards him, just to make him back off.

John giving us just a x-mas card would have made much more sense.
Although, he really could have left out all the hand written religious stuff and his phone number to call him. That alone was way to pushy.
This was the only year we've received anything from him.

2 out of the 3 times of his gift giving, his religion was pushed in our face, hand written and a booklet. I guess all of it actually is. Gift cards=sharing of food. The ham, wine and oranges. Am I wrong?

He knows I'm on unemployment. During our Obama conversation, I mentioned unemployment is paying me a few dollars short of the amount my job was, when they cut our hours to 35 a week. And we were surprised I was getting that much. But I did work there as a full time employee for 9 yrs and 3 mos. Also I mentioned that after I was let go, they let some other's go and cut most employee's hours to 32 hours a week and others to 25. John said at least Mike's on salery. So he does know, we really are living off the same amount as we were prior to me losing my job.

[Tbitt]

You being uncomfortable about him pushing his religion has nothing to do with him and everything to do with your level of commitment to your beliefs.

If you truly have no problem with who you are religiously (or lack there of) then you are the one who has the problem.  I have spoke with MANY people about religion, bible thumpers, to Jehovah's witnesses, to Muslims,  to Budhists, to atheists and more.............I have no problem with it.  I know who I am and who I am going to be.

You need to embrace that in yourself!

This would not be as big a deal, at all, if you secure and strong in your convictions.

What you have chosen is what is good for you at the moment.........feel comfortable with it. 

[desederada]

just carve a 666 in your door with some weird symbols..   or just put a sign up that Mike isn't gay?

That's what I was thinking   It's weird I tend to attract these sort of people   I'll just be in a store or something and strike up a conversation the next thing I know they are trying to save me

[Mass]

You being uncomfortable about him pushing his religion has nothing to do with him and everything to do with your level of commitment to your beliefs.

If you truly have no problem with who you are religiously (or lack there of) then you are the one who has the problem.  I have spoke with MANY people about religion, bible thumpers, to Jehovah's witnesses, to Muslims,  to Budhists, to atheists and more.............I have no problem with it.  I know who I am and who I am going to be.

You need to embrace that in yourself!

This would not be as big a deal, at all, if you secure and strong in your convictions.

What you have chosen is what is good for you at the moment.........feel comfortable with it. 

I agree and no, not all religious people try to shove their beliefs down people's throats. But what's the difference between discussing religion or discussing politics? Both have strong views and convictions attached to them.

[poodlelover]

I agree and no, not all religious people try to shove their beliefs down people's throats. But what's the difference between discussing religion or discussing politics? Both have strong views and convictions attached to them.
[/quote]

Right you are Mass.  And both are nobody else's business!!

[Shell]

I think his problem is, is that we don't go to any church. And he thinks it's important to do so.

"You being uncomfortable about him pushing his religion has nothing to do with him and everything to do with your level of commitment to your beliefs."

I think that statement is wrong. What I believe in is in my heart, always has been since I understood what believing in something meant.

But it is uncomfortable having someone who lives close to you, and won't just let things alone, when we've shown no interest. It's kind of hard to be friendly neighbors that way.

By the way, I Never said all religous people try to shove their beliefs down your throut.
I only asked if what John has given us as gifts, was a way to try to get us to join his church?
Again, we live in an area were the people are nice, But we are not "that" good of friends with anyone here.